unfortunately no one likes cauliflower

Hey. The name is Abi. 19 is the age. Talk to me so we can be friends:)
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If My Dog Could Talk

Dog:WAT DOING
Me:Nothing. I just stood up.
Dog:WHERE GO
Me:I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
Dog:CAN I COME
Me:I mean sure but I'm literally just-
Dog:I COME TOO
Dog:WAT DOING
Me:I need to open this door.
Dog:I HALP
Me:No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
Dog:I HALP
Me:Sigh.
Dog:WHERE GOING
Me:I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
Dog:CAN I COME
Me:Sure.
Dog:I SIT IN LAP
Me:No please don't you are-
Dog:I SIT IN LAP
Me:No there's no room and-
Dog:LAP
Me:No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
Dog:RIGHT HERE
Me:That's literally on top of my leg.
Dog:IT'S PERFECT PET ME
Me:I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
Dog:PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me:I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
Dog:PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me:I AM
Dog:I SIT IN LAP
Dog:PET ME PET ME PET ME
Dog:HOLD SLOBBER TOY
Dog:SNEEZE IN UR FACE
Me:.......

shuckydarn-fiddlefaddle:

terezi-pie-rope:

the-fury-of-a-time-lord:

sktagg23:

Please be kidding.

(This is why we can’t have nice things.)

whoever blocked out that girl’s credit card info

thank you

"The scientists found out that pluto dont exist"
I sigh for humanity

And no one had the courage to tell them their mistakes…

(via therealraynarveazjr)

maliataete:

queerbriel:

welcome to womens clothing where the sizes are made up and the measurements don’t matter

(via therealraynarveazjr)

deanscabbages:

lovelixst:

rivendellcustomersupport:

this was designed for very young children and i am not a young child i am a 260 pound man

how did you get in there.

how did you get out of there

(Source: stone-cold-steve-ostracised, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

d0nn0:

d0nn0:

reblog if you like pasta

image

what are you trying to pull here dominos

(via drunk-piglet)

leo-arcana:

jetblueivy:

drive thru employeesimage definitely image do notimage get paidimage enoughimage forimage this image shitimage they are sick of your nonsenseimage

the last guy wasn’t even phased omg

(via drunk-piglet)

One time I was EXTREMELY moody because of my period and a tiny rose my mom had given me, that I dried up and put it in my car because it was so cute,(it actually because a tiny blak rose, pretty bad ass) fell apart because I swung my hand and hit it. And I started crying, and was soooo upset. Soooo David took my to walmart and got me another miny flower, and though it couldn’t be a rose(mom pulled it from a rose bush) it was still a mini flower and it’s still in my car. A tiny black flower:)

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